I have so much more to let go . But letting go has never been okay with me . You don’t let go of anything that makes you happy . No matter how sad or angry a person or something makes you , you should not let go . One thing that really gets me is breaking promises . A pinky promise had actually meant the world to me . Now they aren’t remotely irrelevant to me . I’ve relied on this one person to make me happy that I’ve completely lost myself . Though , the person brought out the best in me , all I want to do is be evil , now that the person is gone .. but I have no heart for it . This feeling is not permanent (but it feels like it will be) but the memories are , how could I be brainwashed ? Memories do not help the situation . I miss the touch , I miss the way everything was okay , I miss being the only one but I don’t know .. Maybe I wasn’t the only one trying to be the only one . All my questions are left unknown and I’m here thinking “where did I go wrong ?” , but it can’t be all my fault . I just hope and pray there was no pretend smiles or laughs and that it was all true . This stings . Nothing could sting me worse . I hate falling in love , you get let down no matter how hard you try . The cuddles , the kisses , the jokes , just the feeling of looking at the person and realizing it’s all right there .. It’s now gone and I want it back but your mind is in the gutter . The thought of you with someone else and succeeding any further in your life without me is what is killing me . Just why not me anymore ? We were that big picture with so many colors and wonders and now I’m that little keychain without any picture in it . I’m so done with myself but I wont give up . I’m the best there was and you should realize soon .